Elton One

Here is the code you can enter on a SE K800i and K610i (and probably most SE cells) to enter the service menu:

> * < < * < *

In the Service Menu there are several other menus. In Service Info you can look at Model, Software and Configuration Information. In Service Settings you can Turn On and Off USB charging (might be useful if your phone is acting crazy with USB charges like a few people I know). You can view all your Text Labels, but not change them, and also discharge the flash if you have one. The best thing however is that you can do some service tests - that’s testing the various devices on your cell including Main Display, LED/Illumination, Keyboard, Speaker, Earphone, Microphone, Vibrator (ladies), Camera, Video Call Camera, Meomory Stick, FM Radio, Real Time Clock, Total Call Time and Security.

If you select Main Display you get a nice set of 3 variations of RGB colour bars followed by a ravetastic blury rainbow which cycles over and over. New rave seems to have taken one too many pills and ended up a sweaty incomprehensible mess in the corner but old rave still lives on. Fuck designer glow sticks and expensive gigs - all you need is a few SE cells and you’re ‘avin it rampant. I really want to get loads of people together with SE cells and go for some kind of record - 1000 people all with their phones raving out. Haha, who’s up for it?

You don’t get to see your IMEI number in the Service Menu, so if you want to do that you can use:

* # 0 6 #

You can also enter the Personalise Menu where you can view your network locks and if you have your NCK code remove any network locks but you can only access this menu if your phone is locked to a network. If your phone is unlocked to all networks as mine is, you seem to be unable to enter this menu. The code is:

< * * <

I have just registered a Pay As You Go Orange UK sim only to find that it cost 20p a minute to call customer services using the sim. You can call 07973100450 from any phone which is at mobile rates.  So effectively Orange make money out of any one phoning them whether it be to give praise (ha!) or complain, or just to find out why things that were meant to happen have not.

What a load of shit. It should be illegal to do that. No one would accept having to pay to talk to the manager of a store in person so why is it ok to charge people to access the only route of communication with a company or service provider? It’s not.

But there is a way around this - simply phone 08000790006 for free from a land line. This is the new sim registration number which is of course free to entice people to register ["it's so easy and free too!" {unlike the actual service...}] and who ever you get to talk to can connect you internally.

If I have to give my money to a bunch of horrible twats I’ll at least give them as little as possible.

Here are some haxors I drew.

I like haxors.